No More
So, I’m drunk and out with someone else. And I can’t help thinking about what I’ve lost.
Yes, I’ve lost a drunken, verbally abusive jerk.
I’ve also lost my soulmate. I simply find no reason to live now. I keep engaging in self destructive behavior. I don’t care what happens to me anymore. And my behavior grows more and more risky. I pay no attention to my health despite high blood pressure and borderline diabetes.
It’s like I’m daring death to take me, and it’s because Seamus doesn’t want me, or love me, or even care about me as a friend. The torture is unbearable. If there is any such thing as God, much less a merciful God, he’ll end my suffering very soon. I can’t go on living like this.
Seamus, I love you. And I hate it my life without you. Please come back to me.
