On Dangerous Ground
I’m treading on dangerous ground now. And if things keep progressing the way they are, my next post will probably be titled “Stuck in the Middle.”
Before I get started, I have to mention that Seamus, after several days of no contact, returned to me on Tuesday. I asked him if he was still angry, and he said “No one’s upset here.” OK, fine. I should have known. Everytime this happens, I hit the panic button. But he’s always back. I’m not sure what this says about him, or about me. However, something could always happen that would make him walk away forever. This is what I’m worried about in the situation that’s developing.
For some reason, I’ve gotten the attention of Joe Picamosca, one of Seamus’ many mortal enemies. This should not have happened, as I was reliably informed that Mr. Picamosca was an afficionado of petite, modest, traditional Asian girls. I am a tall, beastly mixed-race girl, too fat but with a pretty face and big boobs. And a boisterous personality at times, a smart-ass with a penchant for bawdy comebacks. How could I have drawn his attention? How do I feel about it? What do I intend to do now? And, perhaps most importantly, what happens when Seamus finds out?
OK, first off, let’s talk about Mr. Picamosca. He’s not really as bad as I heard he was going to be. Now, of course, Seamus has nothing but bad things to say about him, but I had heard a lot of stuff about Mr. P being rather controlling, domineering, sexist, and a womanizer. So far, I’ve only noticed the womanizer aspect. Mr. Picamosca is very friendly…I mean, veeerrrryyyy friendly. He’s let me know about three or four times that he’s single. He’s asked my astrological sign so he could read my horoscope. He’s been a gigantic flirt, and combined with my own flirtatious nature, we really seem to be hitting it off well.
And don’t even get me started about how much I have in common with Mr. Picamosca. OK, he’s a rabid Tolkien fan, and so am I…but then, so are a lot of people. OK, he’s into Dungeons & Dragons, I’m into World of Warcraft (which is almost the electronic equivalent of an extremely detailed version of Dungeons & Dragons). Where it gets weird is the fact that he actually went and did the same obscure vacation idea that I had in mind to do next summer (go kayaking amongst the orcas around the San Juan Islands in Washington State). Now, seriously, how many people do YOU know who want to go do that?
It reminds me of the movie Sense and Sensibility, where Kate Winslet’s character, Miss Marianne Dashwood, falls for Mr. Willoughby (literally, and he has to carry her home). There they are, sitting in the parlour getting to know one another, and she mentions her passion for Shakespeare’s sonnets, citing memorized passages. You can see how enthralled she is as he’s able to cite the passages from memory as well. And then, for the pièce de résistance, he says something like, “Funny that you should like them, I happen to carry a copy of them with me always,” and pulls a miniature book of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Mr. Willoughby is just too good to be true in Marianne Dashwood’s eyes.
So, I’ve got Mr. Picamosca coming by my cubicle…sometimes to talk, sometimes to flirt. So far, Seamus hasn’t run into him chatting to me, but that’s been because Seamus is out in the field so much that he doesn’t get a chance to see. However, this past few weeks, because we’re extremely busy at work, Seamus has been in the office a good bit, and I get the feeling my luck will run out.
Now, consider this: Mr. Picamosca sees Seamus in my cubicle all the time and probably has heard the gossip about Seamus and I being involved (when two people of the opposite sex, especially a loner like Seamus, start hanging out exclusively in the office, it’s sure to generate a lot of gossip), and he has had past altercations with Seamus…so what is he playing at? It’s obvious there’s something going on between me and Seamus, and I wonder what he thinks about that. Does he not realize that this could cause trouble? And is his interest really in me, or in stealing Seamus’ “possession”?
There was a really close call on Thursday. Earlier in the morning, I had been running about the office, faxing things, mailing things, zig-zagging about. Everywhere I went, it seemed that I would run into Mr. Picamosca. After several instances of this, I said jokingly, “Geez, you’re like a stalker, you show up everywhere I go.” Mr. P laughed and we both went about our business. Once things settled down, Seamus, as usual when he’s in the office, spent the majority of his free time in my cubicle. There were a few times when Seamus and I were talking that Mr. P walked by. Seamus, of course, had to make a couple of derogatory comments in his wake, but sotto voce. When Seamus decided to go back to his own desk to continue working, no sooner than he had left, Mr. P pops into my cubicle. He stands very close to my chair, and whispers conspiratorially, “You know, when a woman calls me a stalker, I don’t know if I should take it as a complaint or a compliment.” I laughed dutifully while my ears were straining for sounds of Seamus’ return. All I could think was “GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! Quick! Before he sees you!!!” Luckily, he did leave before he was spotted.
I’m not sure what will happen here. But there’s an intensity about Mr. Picamosca that I find interesting, and perhaps it’s the sense that he’s a forbidden fruit that intrigues me more. Yet, I fear what it will do to my relationship (such as it is) with Seamus.
I think things are going to warm up around here a little.
